28 July 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 2 : Willy Gutshagger the ever running


Following the excellent Captain Crooks and Halfdan Guntsplitter, here's my own take on the GORECHOSEN tag.
For this challenge, I just went through my box of chaotic lead and picked the one that inspired me the most !

22 July 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 1: Halfdan Guntsplitter, Aspiring Gorechampion of the Blood-god

The skies roiled with inky black clouds, shook with thunderous crashes of thunder and was rent with forks of hideous red lightning. A new champion of the Blood-God was in ascendance, heralded by rains of gore and the screams of the dying. It was time for the bloodening to begin. It was time for...



18 July 2016


Games Workshop is due to release a gladiatorial combat game in September.  I enjoy GW boardgames more than battle games: they represent the distilled best of the hobby to me when done well.

Gladiator games have particular appeal too, due to featuring a low miniature count and the option to play simple and fun multiplayer games about dramatically killing people.  A game like this is a must-have for me.

Name: Giuseppe.  
Likes: blood, flaming blood.  
Dislikes: big moths. 

“Gorechosen” is based on what I regard to be the most single mindedly dull faction in the rich and occasionally nuanced Warhammer settings: followers of Khorne.
Name: Vincent.  
Likes: blood, nosebleeds.  
Dislikes: lack of blood, team sports.

I doubt that “Bloodbound” brush their teeth, but if they do then they brush them with a sharpened, bloody femur, doused in O-positive while showering in blood in their Bloodhouse, Platelet Crescent, Scab Drive, Slaughter-Upon-Blood.

Name: Howard.  
Likes: blood, arterial spray.  
Dislikes: choosing something to watch on Netflix.

Weirdly although this dull single mindedness makes Khorne projects generally too one-note to interest me, they are funny to talk about.
The Creeps had an amusing discussion about the Bloodbound game and these sorts of characters the other day.  As a result we decided to get the drop on the new game when it comes out, by each of us painting a frothing, monomaniacal psychopath in advance.

Name: Eugene. 
Likes: blood, long soaks in the tub (of blood).  
Dislikes: poor wi-fi connections on public transport.

I dont speak for all the Creeps when I say that I find the stupendously OTT characters in the box quite appealing in their gross absurdity.  They amuse me and I feel a surprisingly strong urge to paint them.

Regardless, due to all of the participants having ready access to some suitable old Citadel figures, we decided to go with them in our project instead.  Several of the figures likely to appear come from the old Chaos Thug range.

We will be using models such as these in our project.
Picture borrowed from solegends.com (we love you guys!)
Captain Crooks has (blood)volunteered to post the first Haemo-erotic model ASAP so watch this space. Then in turn he will (blood)tag another (corn syrup)Creep to be the (blood)next to sub(lood)mit.

11 July 2016


Greetings to all the Creepers out there! Today we're bringing you something extra special, the (probably) eagerly anticipated battle report of the game of the sequel of the movie Fatal Deviation, starring Irish Martial Arts hero Jimmy Bennett, his girl Nicola, a cyber hobo and a giant ball-sac. Read and enjoy as we present...

Remember this old game? Console Gamer Magazine gave it negative 1,000,000 stars

07 July 2016

28 centimeters later ...


Captain Crooks: Well Creepers, it's been three days since the announcement of this challenge, so it's time for a progress report! Here you can see that I have already produced two finished models, with the rest all blocked in and ready for their vinegar strokes.

06 July 2016

Guilty Pleasures - Loving Terrible Miniatures

We've all done it. All of us. YOU especially. We've all had our heads turned by less than fantastic minis. We've picked up the box or blister, noted the poor proportions, weird hands or crap hat, and fallen instantly in love. 'These are pretty awful.' we muse to ourselves as we walk up the the cashier. Conversely, I've seen some technically just plain beautiful minis that left me cold as yesterday's pizza.

It can possibly be explained by those who delve for lead online via nostalgia. We saw a mini in White Dwarf back in the day, but never owned it. Now though, with the multitudes of old lead online, it's possible to hunt down that model, only to notice the sculpting isn't too great. And then not care and love it possibly a little bit more.

But that's not always the case. The first time I saw the undead of the Witchlands for Slaughterloo, I was taken in right away. They look like Jim Henson zombies, but the very idea of Napoleonic undead frog vampires and skeletal dog-men hits me right in the want. I adore them. So there. Feast your eyes:

04 July 2016

28 millimeters later...

Asslessman : There are times when men just cannot escape the prejudices commonly associated with their gender. Not even when these men are some of the finest examples of bearded piles of witty muscles, so certainly not when those men are my brother James and I ...

What is all of this about ? How does it have any relevance with Zombies ? I hear you say ? Well, just stop interrupting us and we're about to tell you.

"- How dare you say I still drybrush ! Take that back !
- I won't sir ! And I will add that YOU DIP !
- I've had enough, this will only end when the first drop of Go Fasta Red falls :"

Captain Crooks : Yes Brother Ass, there comes a time when even the best of friends and even brothers must come to blows and in recent days the gauntlet has been thrown.